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3-Minute Roast, Vol. 2, No. 14

A Poke in the Eye of the Online/Multimedia Industrial Complex

[scientifically tested to take no longer than 3 minutes to read, unless you're nonsensically using Shockwave Flash]

Microsoft: The Content Company that Couldn't

Redmond, WA -- When Microsoft readied the launch of The Microsoft Network (MSN) a few years back, other online services like AOL and CompuServe shuddered at the thought. MSN would have an icon on every Win95 desktop, and would build up content through a series of high-profile alliances and in-house development, transforming Seattle into a nouveau Hollywood.

Trouble came quickly to paradise. Despite millions spent on ad blitzes, MSN still hovered around 2 million subscribers, dwarfed by AOL's 11 mil. Word came that the first season of Web "shows" would be canceled and layoffs would follow. Season after season, few shows distinguished themselves, unless you were a hardcore fan of "The Mint" or "Second City Naked News."

Now comes word that production on all MSN shows will cease on March 31. Most of the higher profile stand-alone sites like Expedia, Sidewalk and Slate will probably live on, but it's doubtful we'll see "Getworking," "One Click Away," "Mauny's Kitchen" or "Satori" attached to MSN.

That leaves us precious little time to skewer MSN, a melange of sites that greets you with the demand to download a browser plug-in (Shockwave Flash). Most offer more flash than substance, and few were given promotion, leaving them high and dry in a sea of look-alike sites. "Underwire" is an unfortunately named women's zine; "Satori" is a self-help new-agey concoction; and "One Click Away" offered audio columns as a guide to the Net (though it took *two* clicks to get through interstitial ads).

We wish we could get all choked up about the death of MSN, and its inevitable re-re-re-launch as a vanilla ISP (or will Bill put it out of its misery?), but it's hard to miss something you barely noticed.

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I Want My ZDTV!

People around the country would really really really like to get ZDTV: Your Computer Channel on their cable systems. They'd like nothing more than to have a 24-hour computer channel. Luckily, they don't have to contact their cable companies because word is that ZDTV is employing hoards of marketing people to cajole operators into adding the network, slated to launch April 2. Rumor is they have even less operators signed on than MTV2.

The network, which currently has plans for 10 shows (8 in-house), might want to pick up some old MSN shows, if it gets desperate, since the timing would be right (March 31 death; April 2 launch...hmmm...). One boost might come when ZD cherry-picks a high-profile TV exec from cross-town rival CNET.

Money should be no object when ZD goes public in April. Then they can buy CNET's TV division, The Food Channel, or heck, why not TCI? That'll teach those no-good, tech-know-nothings not to mess with techies who want to own the airwaves.

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DeathRace 2000(tm)

[each week we'll highlight the lowlights at one of three failing online ventures: Snap!, HotWired and Slate]

[follow DeathRace online at: http://www.mediawhore.com/deathrace]

Slate's Kinsley: Thank You, Monica Lewinsky

According to a Reuters report: "Heightened interest in presidential politics has helped Microsoft Corp.'s online magazine Slate to nearly double its readership in a two-month period. More than 270,000 individual readers hit Slate's Web site at least once in January, up from 140,000 in November, publisher Rogers Weed said in a statement.

'...We can't help acknowledging that whether or not Monica Lewinsky serviced the president, she certainly has serviced us,' Slate editor Michael Kinsley said." This will undoubtedly help Slate feel good about itself as it goes to $19.95/year subscriptions next month.

BusinessWeek reports: "For Slate, [subscriptions are] do or die. 'There's no doubt that the day we slam the gate, the traffic will plummet,' says Kinsley. He figures readership will pick up again as Slate's reputation and influence continues to grow. But experts say it will be tough to win those readers back.

'I call it the Slatanic,' says William Bass, an analyst at Forrester Research Inc. Slate is 'heading for the subscription iceberg,' in his view, as readers will simply browse elsewhere for free political commentary. "Indeed, for all its fanfare, the 30-employee publication generated only about $1 million in advertising last year, according to Jupiter. 'We're not close to covering our costs,' admits Slate Publisher Rogers Weed. The annual bill for Slate tops $5 million, estimates David Card, analyst with IDC/Link Research in New York."

Just to show they're serious about selling subscriptions, there are even offers for free gifts at MSN.com if you subscribe to Slate: a Slate umbrella or Microsoft Encarta Virtual Globe 98. No word on offers for framed copies of visiting records to the White House with Lewinsky's signature.

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"3-Minute Roast" is a weekly, advertisement-free, opinionated rip on anything that strikes our fancy in the online world.

Max Schlickting - Editor-in-Chief
Barbara Yalpsid - Online Editor
Lefty Periwinkle - First Amendment Expert

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This e-newsletter is copyright 1998 Mark Glaser

 

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