Vague Anti-Establishment Tagline With Pokey, Roasted Things

[some mumbo-jumbo about being able to read this in less than 3 minutes, with a sly nod-nod wink-wink to the Big Joke below]

Snappy Headline That Makes Your Head Snap Off

Random High-Tech Dateline -- An introductory explanation as to why some egotistical, overpaid CEO -- or the company that he runs -- deserves to be ridiculed. This could take the form of a fake press release, an irregular Top 10 list, or stream of consciousness Jay Leno-meets-John Dvorak current events jokes.

By this point, you the reader are dying to hit "Delete" and move on to distressed emails from ex-boyfriends or Wired's ever-shrinking HotFlash e-newsletter. Luckily, our harebrained humor draws you back, rubbernecking to see the clash of bad Bill Gates-as-the-devil diatribes and rants against old-school companies pretending to be cyberhip to drive stock prices through the roof.

We use the "royal we" first-person plural to create an illusion in your mind of a staff of young, perky ne'er-do-wells trying to stand up for the Little Guy whilst spitting in the face of the New Tech Millionaires. Various mentions of 3MR "moles" or "inside sources" conjure up a network of international spies rather than random, passing daydreams of intrigue.

Then, before the whole darned scheme comes crashing down by the weight of itself, we end with a pithy, cynical remark.