FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
BO MONSOON KICKS OFF BOOK-SIGNING TOUR IN SAN FRANCISCO'S NORTH BEACH
San Francisco, CA, July 2, 1998 -- Rarely seen in public without his trademark white T-shirt and three-day stubble, cyber-laureate Bo Monsoon will be signing books for swooning teenagers and the elite of the Digerati at City Lights Books. Bo -- short for "Boar" -- has been a sensation in this town ever since the runaway success of his best-selling book, "The First $20 Million Book Advance Is Always The Hardest To Wrest From Those Suckers."
Monsoon has written for all the trendy glossy mags like Details, Dirt, GQ, TrendMonger, Wired, and Slummers Literary Journal. His latest masterpiece is called "Hazy Recollections of a Cyber-Beat," about a regular kinda guy (based loosely on Bo) who wanders the backroads of Silicon Valley looking like a cross between James Dean, Richard Gere and Neal Cassidy. When the "narrator" finds only mundane suburban lives lived by mundane suburban people, he turns to psychedelic drugs to help him invent a world around him that doesn't exist.
"This book is more than just an exploration of my mind, it is an exploration of a unique era in human history, a pardigm-shifting, revolutionary-building, buzzword-spewing time that will cause us all to become so intelligent, so special, that we won't bother communicating at all," Monsoon wrote in the forward. "And is it possible, just possible, that if I get any more high-minded than I already am in this paragraph, my brain will explode?"
Not likely, since his brain will be needed for study by the Stanford Neurological Center, which plans to dissect his brain after he dies to find out how one person can come up with so many imaginary tales about a subject that is so incredibly boring.
Here's an excerpt from his new work of literary non-fiction:
***
Sunnyvale
The sun burnt the pavement a dull gray, and I headed into a local Thai restaurant to meet my source, a guy named Rick* who was involved with a company that was working on high-level biotechnology that would blow your mind. Rick motioned for me to sit down in a booth, and called over the waitress, Daniella*. Once again, he would be eating General Tchou* Chicken. As the murmer of our conversation bounced around the restaurant's burnt orange walls, I overheard a couple nearby arguing over the price of mescaline, with the sweaty young woman shouting, "I told you to get it from The Man*!"
But what was Rick's top-secret project? To clone Bill Gates* and send him around the country promoting Macintosh computers, thereby throwing the global ecomony into sheer chaos.*A pseudonym.
***
If you don't believe in the incredible power of Bo Monsoon, listen to what important people have to say about his latest blockbuster work:
"I laughed, I cried, I didn't believe a word, but I really *wanted* to." -- Morton Downey Jr.
"This is the work of a genius who has seen so much of Silicon Valley that he should be declared a regional landmark." -- Outgoing San Jose mayor Susan Hammer
"Brilliant, heady stuff. I hope Bo can tell me where I can get some."
-- author Douglas Rushkoff"The most important film achievement of our time." -- Leonard Maltin, upon seeing a screenplay version of the book
Get the book today, available in your local bookstore from Random Thoughts Books, New York.
********** DeathRace 2000(tm)
[each week we'll highlight the lowlights at one of three failing online ventures: Snap!, HotWired and Slate]
The Missing Ingredient in the Portal Wars: Caffeine
While most people know about CNET's Snap! making a deal with NBC, a much less heralded deal was made between CNET and Peet's Coffee. CNET had registered the domain name coffee.com a while back, but no one knew why. While the company had been supplying employees with Starbucks coffee, one day the switch was made to Peet's. It ends up that CNET traded the domain name to Peet's for an undisclosed amount of free coffee supplies for employees. And who says CNET doesn't care about the welfare of its workers, the happy little buzzing bees? Now they can stay up even later working on projects...
[Follow the DeathRace online at: http://www.mediawhore.com/deathrace]
"3-Minute Roast" is a weekly, advertisement-free, opinionated rip on anything that strikes our fancy in the online world.Max Schlickting - Editor-in-Chief
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