ONLINE REUNIONS

"Hello?" "Is this the Bob I worked with twenty years ago from Ground Systems Group?" Thus began a two-hour phone conversation that reunited me with one of my mentors from long ago. More and more services are going online that make this sort of reunion effortless by performing a nationwide phone number or email address search. Pining over a long lost love? One site will even draw you a map to their house- which is a pretty scary thing if you think about it.

THE FIRST ONE'S FREE

Seen any suspcious characters hanging around the playground handing out. . .(gasp) Zagnut Bars? Dare to keep your kids off chocolate? It's come to this, the Brain Police are comparing chocolate to marijuana. Is Momma bogarting her bon bons? Personally I can't seem to keep my Mars Bar lit- and what a mess! 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky, Hershey's Kiss that is. Psssst: help is on the way and you can discreetly satisfy your fudge jones online with some of the "good stuff."

NEW YAWK NEW YAWK

The venerable New York Times is holding a contest folks. "All the News That's Fit To Print" doesn't fit their online edition, so they are soliciting suggestions for a suitable electronic counterpart in ten words or less. A cyberslogan if you will. Wait, there's more: you could win a hundred bucks! It didn't take me ten seconds, but it did take me ten words: "Editorials are moved to the front page for your convenience." Wish me luck folks. Not only is it dead-on, I could use the cash.

THE INFO SUPER AIRPORT

If I were a travel agent, I'd take a tip from some typesetters who became obsolete overnight: He Who Hesitates Is Lunch. The carrier corporation trying to tilt the spear at a windmill of old, outdated, firmly entrenched clumsy technology currently in use. If this executive can survive, perhaps travel agents will become cgi scripts and dynamic databases. Where's my snack?

HACKER HERO

I have nothing against the Department of Justice. I just think someone with the insane gumption to jump their firewall and scribble HTML graffiti all over their stodgy site is worthy of respect. I certainly think the D.O.J. should hire the perpetrator as soon as he or she graduates from high school. While the fake site, mirrored by yet another clever fan of freedom of speech is up and viewable, I don't really think it's appropriate viewing for a family audience. What a proud moment in Hacker History!