Monday, Nov. 4 -- I was out to dinner with my parents and my mother ordered veal. "Ask if it's free range veal," I said. She didn't get the joke. I was surprised to find out that at seventy-one years of age, old Mom was unaware of how veal gets to the dinner table. For the unenlightened, veal calves are raised in small crates that render them immobile so their muscles can't develop, making the meat more tender. They are purposely kept anemic with an iron-deficient diet devoid of solid foods so their flesh will be light in color, and I guess better tasting. Yum. Oh, and they slaughter them really young too. Some people don't find this all that cruel. Mom decided never to eat veal again and said I always ruin dinner with my "obscure ranting.". Then I started thinking about working for U S West. All day I was forced to sit in my little cubicle, growing more and more pale under the fluorescent lights and forced by convenience to use the company cafeteria. It dawned on me that I was Veal. Some employers don't find this all that cruel. Moooooooo.


Tuesday, Nov. 5 -- Guys take their careers as seriously as women consider relationships I'm told. This would explain grown men and train sets. (Stay with me.) On one hand men are kings of the food chain, captains of all we survey. On the other hand we usually work in dead-end jobs for years on end and if we're lucky maybe wind up with a cheap gold watch and a pension, (if the pension fund hasn't been misappropriated that is). So success is a fickle illusion in many men's lives and their quiet desperation takes some curious forms. We all know the usual male menopause symptoms: sports car, toupee, young mistress, etc. But other signals can be more subtle and let's face it, most men are so numb they don't know how unhappy they are. That's where I come in. A man has to feel he is in control. He is not, of course, so that's where the dissonance begins. We lost control of women a few decades ago, and they were just faking it anyway. An HO Model train set is perfect. You can wear a cool hat, have total control and fantasize that the little village is yours, all yours. Men are pitiful like that.


Wednesday, Nov. 6 -- I want to change light bulbs for the Federal Reserve. The Chief of Maintenance at The Fed pulls down $163,800.00 to supervise the task. Not bad. And what do the rest of these folks do? Primarily decide how high to push the misery index up to keep us all so busy making enough money to pay our taxes we don't have time to educate ourselves about how our own government is milking us dry and letting these bankers decide how fast. Among the less constitutional of our institutions, it puts our economic policy under the control of unelected cronies of Big Banks and Big Business to run the country's money policy the way these men in the shadows see fit. No sir, I'm not sure I like it. Take a look at a list of who really owns the Federal Reserve Central Banks: mainly foreigners! Our founding fathers would have a fit. And how has the Federal Reserve of New York decided to inform the American Public what they do and how they do it? They publish comic books supposedly for teens, but it's a pretty clear indication of how they view us all.


Thursday, Nov. 7 -- Sergei Semyonov, deputy chairman of Russia's parliament's Committee for Women, Family and Youth feels the only salvation for Russia's future is polygamy. Yes folks, it might not be just for Mormons anymore! Mr. Semyonov's reasoning is mainly centered on producing more children to become more soldiers so the now-declining population will be able to staff an army large enough to defend Russia's borders. (Someone may want to inform Sergei about nuclear missiles making all that kind of obsolete), but he may be onto something we can use. In my parents' day one income was enough. Now we need two to survive. Our quality of life will continue to fall, and taxes will continue to be raised (hey, YOU voted for him, I didn't) until three incomes will be necessary if we are to afford cable teevee, internet access and beer. The three staples of my existence. So I'm willing to consider taking a couple of wives or maybe even more. Think of the savings and convenience! Pregnancies could be staggered to accommodate work schedules. All household chores would be cut by a third. No more left-overs hanging around the fridge, fewer houses to build, etc. etc. It's really a great idea. Too bad it had to come from a Russian war hawk.