FLIGHT 800

I must have gone through two whole packs of tortillas trying to fry the face of Jesus onto one. (Miracles come hard at my house.) If you're the type who sees faces on Mars, Mother Mary in a tree trunk and the Man in the Moon, then you might want to check out the shot of the "missile that brought down Flight 800." Uh huh. I just want to know why nobody wants to get near the fact that Flight 800's pilot was named Kevorkian. SCHOOL DAZE

In my day we had to walk two miles through the driving snow to get to the library, and donŐt you forget it. Today kids have internet connections in their dorm rooms. With all the handy resources on the Web, you don't have to lug aroun. a heavy dictionary or thesauras- just a power adapter. Many colleges provide email accounts so students can spam while they cram! College students today have more information literally at their fingertips than ever before. Seen some SAT scores lately? BEER

My brother made beer in our basement one summer. He had a huge brown vat full of vile, foamy liquid that I swear grew green and fuzzy on top. This didn't stop him- he had already bought the bottle caps. So he bottles the stuff, lets it chill in the fridge which caused a thick setiment to form on the bottom of each bottle. I woudn't touch it. He distributed his personal reserve at a band practice and none of the musicians seemed to notice. DUH

No wonder kids are confused today. I blame the adults. We resort to tight curfews to keep them home at night (where are their parents by the way?) and then set up midnight basketball programs. A Denver school set aside a portion of the school grounds for a smoking area knowing full well the majority of the students aren't legally old enough to smoke. We preach abstinence and propose the distribution of condoms in high schools. Where are the parents, the principals and the principles? PHOTOSHOPPING

Photoshop has changed the face of art and photography in the same revolutionary way that the internet has affected communication. A lot of people have a copy of the program, but havenŐt had the time to delve into some of its deeper areas where the fun really begins. Having your brand new web page look snappy can be the difference between an instant hit or a long visit to your site. Photoshop tips, especially with regard to Web specs, are handy to fall back on.