I couldn't care less about politics but I enjoy political personalities. I have been following the crucifixion of Newt Gingrich for the past few months. As far as I'm concerned, being caught in an untruth simply QUALIFIES him for the presidency the way the general public votes these days. But more interesting than his sometimes offensive directness and recent mea culpa was the partisan attack upon his college course. I read quite a few columns and quotes about how his televised course, Renewing American Civilization, was a thinly veiled platform for espousing Republican, (and Republican-only) ideas. I noticed the course was being carried by the local educational channel so I began watching episodes. Newt did take some moments to discuss how he doesn't understand why some people on welfare ". . .being paid to do nothing. . ." for ten-plus years never manage to make it to the local library. I guess these are fighting words for Democrats. Gentle readers, will one of you out there who are shocked at this course's contents please tell me exactly what information, which lecture, what point was made that is so strictly Republican in nature? I've watched over six hours of Newt's course and all I saw and heard were stories about effective time management, principles of leadership, personal responsibility and what makes a successful business. My theory is that the majority of those criticizing the course haven't watched five minutes of it. The transcripts are on the web folks. Somebody proove me wrong.
I hate it when advertising flyers are thrown on my driveway. I hate it worse when they're hung on my door in little plastic bags. I make a point of calling each establishment advertised and letting them know that I will not do business with anyone that hangs crap on my doorknob or throws it on my driveway. Unfortunately it's not as easy with spam email. The majority of this stuff has bogus return addresses so you can't even communicate with the offending sender. Take this one I just got today for example:
From: expressAs you can guess, the return address doesn't work and there's no way to get "removed" and of course they planned it this way. I hate these people. AOL and Compuserve came down hard on mass mailers and the courts are still wrestling with the issues involved. Can an online service "ban" certain advertisers they deem spammers? Judge Weiner didn't think so. (The guy's a weiner, so what do you expect, and I'll bet a dollar the good judge doesn't have an email account of his own.) As long as there are lazy people around who think that a mass uninvited email campaign is a good way of doing business, our email boxes will continue to be bombarded by this junk.
To: online, user
Date: Tue, 07 Jan 1997 03:07:39 PST
Subject: 9.9c min. long distance "B"---------------WELCOME TO MARKET-ONLINE---------------
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Everything I know is wrong. But that's okay--I've gotten used to it. Just wait a couple of years and it will be right again. No problem. I saw a nutritionist on the tube last night describing how we should be eating more red meat. Great. I've finally gotten my brain aligned to accept a salad and grain lifestyle, then this guy bursts my carbohydrate bubble. The teevee fellow's theory is that the human race has been harvesting grains to eat for only a brief period, oh say, ten thousand years. Since we were around long before that, grunting, scratching ourselves, dragging our knuckles and pounding potential girlfriends on the head with clubs to get their attention, our furry ancestors were eating meat. A lot of meat. Now Dr. Robert C. Atkins, a medical heretic (my favorite kind) has just published a new book (Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution) which maintains more red meat is just what the doctor ordered for better health and a slimmer waistline. He points to a "government conspiracy to make us obese," (I love this guy!) by putting grains at the base of the nutritional pyramid. Dr. Atkins points out that until 1990 only 25% of the American public was considered obese. Now we're told that close to 50% of the U.S. is overweight and the good doctor blames it on too much carbo-loading and not enough prime rib. (His recommended "diet" includes hot & spicy pork rinds and cappucino cheesecake, so he has my undivided attention.) Give it a while--Atkins will be proved totally wrong and I can go back to my sprouts and tofu regimin. In the meantime, maybe I'll have a double bacon cheeseburger for lunch--with pork rinds and cheescake!
I am one of those irritable people who hates small planes flying over his house. The noise pollution caused by these airborne lawnmowers is amazing. For the personal pleasure of one or two people roaring around the skies playing Top Gun Jr., hundreds of homeowners beneath their buzzsaw puddle-jumpers have to put up with the disturbance of their peace. I call it "airrogance." Anyway, as much as I hate small planes I was saddened to hear about the little girl who crashed and died awhile back, trying to break some silly cross-country record or something. The seven-year-old Jessica Dubroff--who had no business trying this stunt--had been stage-managed into the attempt by her father and weirdo New Age mother. You may remember the earth-mom going on television, posing next to the fresh wreckage, saying that she "knew" that little Jessica died happy because she was flying. Oh really? My guess is that she died terrified and screaming as she went nose down into the pavement, (but hey, I don't have a bunch of magic crystals around the house either so what do I know?) Well, another posthumous cat fight is under way as the father's ex common-law wife (the bio-mother) and his current widow fight over the two million dollars in life insurance he had riding on his eventual bad luck. Now, now ladies. Let's be pals, gals and just split it down the middle. Do it for Jessica.
Dog bites man: no story; man bites dog: story. Okay, here goes: South Koreans are eating less dog meat these days, but they still honk down on a hind leg occasionally. This particular brand of filet of Seoul has been a source of embarrassment for the increasingly Westernized South Korea where dog meat has been considered a delicacy for centuries. Paul and Linda McCartney would be shocked. . .SHOCKED! Their admirable veggie lifestyle does not permit them, as Paulie says, to "eat anything with a face." And dogs have very nice faces. (Except pugs. . .I imagine pugs are as tough to chew as they are ugly to look at--hell I'd eat a pug on principle.) Young Koreans seem to be passing on the pooch plate and some predict the practice of frying up some Fido will slip into history within a couple of decades. In China, on the otherhand, (where they'll eat just about anything), dog meat is eaten with relish. Well, not actually relish, they boil the meat with sesame leaves and carrots then dip it in a garlic and pepper sauce. Yum, "Good dog!" "Good HOT dog!" Like a kind of lobster tank situation, it is not uncommon in rural areas to find dogs tied up in front of a restaurant where you can choose the hound for your ground round. But South Korea seems to be cutting back on Bowser burgers, which is good news. They even are experiencing a surge in pet grooming and obedience training classes. Course number 1 - "Stop Drooling." (Not the dog dummy, YOU!)